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Monthly Archives: March 2014

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So the last few days weeks actually maybe it’s even months, I’ve not had the best control of my diabetes and instead of facing up to it I’ve just kept burying my head in the sand. It was talks with James and my mum which made me realise how bad I’ve gotten really. So I’m currently feeling a but disappointed with myself.

However it’s nearly a new month and luckily I’ve realised my bad ways and have decided things need to change. It’s not the best year for me to go off the rails diabetes wise what with being in my last year of Uni etc. I have things I want to achieve in life and having bad control won’t help towards achieving them.

But rather than whinge and moan in this blog I thought I’d enlighten you all in what my plans are…that way some of the people who are reading this and know me well can keep a beady eye on me hahaha.

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So what is my plan of action?

Keep a stricter sugar levels account! I have a bad habit of doing my sugars and correcting/treating etc and not thinking to see if there’s a trend going on! To be honest it’s not really a habit cause I use to be good with it! Just 2014 I haven’t been as sharp as usual! This sugar level account is also going to include what carbs I’ve eaten and what foods I’ve eaten just to also see if certain foods spike my sugars! I know if I eat a pizza I can expect to have a high sugar level within 2 hours even if I carbohydrate count it.

My next plan is to stop with the junk food! I say this all the time and never do it but I’m making a promise to myself to cut it out of my diet and start eating healthier! I’ve even downloaded the my fitness pal app to keep an eye on what nutrients I’m getting etc. As well as cutting out junk food I’ve decided I’m going to stop drinking alcohol, you see I’m one of the weird people who can honestly say that even though I do on occasions drink it I actually don’t enjoy it! The only alcoholic drinks I really enjoy are cocktails and the sugar in them is unbelievable so it’s a big no no! So down with the alcohol and up with the water (bring on the water baby)

I am also considering speaking to someone about how I’ve felt the last fee months about my diabetes. Counselling can be a big of a taboo subject and people tend to like to hide it however I feel it’s good to get things off your chest to someone who can’t give their opinion and just sits and listens. My family, boyfriend and friends are really good and sit and listen and offer advice but sometimes I just don’t want to hear what they’ve got to say and even though they may be speaking the truth it can sometimes upset me more. And I’d rather speak to a human than make teddy sit and listen to my ramblings.

So that so far is my three steps plan I should probably add exercise to it but I’m feeling to lazy to even write a paragraph on that let alone think about running in my head hahaha. But I will hopefully with the help of my brother.

But there is an insight to my plans! I’m going to share with you today’s entry of my new diabetes journal! (I’ve typed it up cause my writing it’s a tad messy in it)

Monday 31st March

8.00
BM: 8.4
Miller Light Raspberry and Cranberry yoghurt 175 g
7.8g carbs in 100g
175g = 13.65 carbs
Correction: 0.1 units
Bolus: 1.8 units
Total: 1.9 units

10.00
Pump suspended for shower

12.03
BM: 14.5
Correction: 2.1 units
Noodles: 36.2g carbs
Smoothie: 30g carbs
Bolus: 8.3 units
Total: 10.4
Basal: 0.600 u/h

15.50
BM: 7.0
Chai latte: 19g carbs
Bolus: 2.3
Basal: 0.700 u/h

19.00
BM: 4.7
Gammon: 0.5g carbs
Egg: 0.5g carbs
Jacket potato: 50g carbs
Salad: 3g
Total carbs: 54g
Bolus: 6.7
Basal: 0.700

20.00
Hot Cross bun: 30g carbs
Bolus: 3.7
Basal: 0.700 u/h

So that’s it so far today! Not too shabby but still got my bedtime blood sugar level to do! Fingers crossed its a goodun! Anyway I’m going to bid you all a goodnight hahaha! Also by the way teddy is a dog not a stuffed toy hahaha! Thanks for reading

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“Diabetes burnout is the term given to the state of disillusion, frustration and somewhat submission to the condition of diabetes. Often it will be a state of mind that is reached after years if dealing with the condition. Diabetes burnout is often marked by disregarding blood sugar levels and neglecting and individuals diet (diabetes.co.uk)

So I haven’t written a blog in ages even though I’ve wanted to I just haven’t and I’m not sure why. The reason why I wanted to highlight diabetes burnout in this blog is because I don’t feel I have yet. I haven’t ever fully suffered from diabetes burnout…well not to the extent it has become a big problem. I tend to go a while doing good then slip up and then a couple of days down the line become a crying mess who could quite happily tell my diabetes it go shove itself where the sun don’t shine.

Today just happened to be one of those days. I will happily admit I’ve been a but stressed recently for various reasons which has resulted in my blood sugars being higher and me getting more stressed and them increasing and then because me and my diabetes are such good friends it likes to add the random hyper to hypo on me. So I’ll admit this has been happen for last few weeks and has resulted in some sleepless nights which is problem now why I feel Im at breaking point.

Now my breaking point will me having a little cry to myself or whoever the lucky person around is. Then moaning to said lucky person (Sorry James for today’s outburst) and then I’ll pick myself up remind myself of what uncontrolled BMs can cause and try to sort it out (not in the same day cause crying makes me tired hahaha). But obviously I then spend a couple of hours worrying what I have done to myself during this what I call: I hate my diabetes period.

You see the problem with diabetes is you can’t turn it off. You can’t go oh screw it let’s eat this lovely chocolate cake without testing my sugar levels and carb counting because guess what half an hour down the line you’ll be feeling sick, your mouth will be a dry as the desert, you’ll bladder will decided it needs emptying every five seconds and your emotional level will rise to the point where you start to to feel like you need to be locked up.

And I suppose what gets to you the most (well me anyway) is I don’t drink much alcohol, I don’t smoke and recently I have been really trying to cut out the junk food (crisps are my biggest struggle). So you make all that effort and then you look at the numbers and think what’s the point?!

Obviously there is a point I don’t particularly want to lose any limbs, or destroy any organs. But seriously sometimes I wish I could have some time out! Just a day of not having to check my sugars and bruise my fingers, or not read/look up the carb values in each of my meals or snacks, or not have to worry about if my outfit looks weird cause my pump is on show or if I have all of my diabetes stuff in my bag when I go out or….you see I could really go on.

Please don’t get me wrong I could be much worse off and I know that. I’ve had people tell me that before when I’ve had a little moan and sometimes I’ve had to stop myself from saying well how about we swap lives for a couple of days and see how you cope! But I’d never wish for anyone to have type one diabetes like I wouldn’t wish them to have any type of diabetes. Life isn’t easy for anyone I know that we all have our ups and downs and diabetes isn’t all bad I’ve made lots of friends through it and I hope to teach people that don’t have the conditions a better understanding. Which is why I felt the need to post this wee rant today at such a latish cause right now while some of you are tucked up in bed or out drinking or having fun I’m sat feeling like my bladder is going to burst and I could drink the sea dry and this is after my blood sugar level has come down a few notches. Probably not the best way to spend my Friday night however I still wouldn’t change my life for anyone.

On a side note after all of that I’ve now added the wordpress app to my iPad so will try get my act into gear. I hope this blog is enjoyable and somewhat insightful. If anyone has any feedback I’d be interested in hearing it.

Sorry for being the worst blogger in the world and sorry for typos hahaha. Sweet dreams everyone πŸ™‚ the picture below made me giggle so I had to share it.

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