If you came to see me now you would probably be greeted with a tired, upset girl who would put a smile on her face and pretend nothing is wrong. So why am I upset right now? Because for the last 24 hrs my sugars have been high! I get emotional when they are high anyway but I’m also disappointed because I’ve slowly started to get in control that bam it goes up the creek! (I’m not sure that’s even a saying haha).
But the worse thing is the way you start to feel when things go wrong with diabetes.
Happy! Tired! Excited! Angry! Strong! Powerful! Lonely! Distraught! Carefree! Stressed! Beautiful! Gracious! Sick! Dehydrated! The list could go on!
There is only so many times you can moan to people about the way you feel until they start to get sick of it! Some people can link diabetes burnout with depression. I’m not sure I would! I’ll happily admit after my brothers death i probably got into some sort if depression so I can understand what it is! A weakness to some but to me an inner fight your body is having with your brain to help you overcome sadness and become stronger. But the difference with diabetes burnout is you end up feeling like your sugars; up and down.
For example the other day I was happy as larry cause my sugars were sorting themselves out but today after all the highs whilst working a night, then throughout today, three set changes and no ketones if feel angry and frustrated!
My bm is currently 17 if you wondering 😉
So am I heading into a pit of despair and depression?
Now I bet you wondering how I can say that after what I’ve just said? But cause with the support of family and friends you can turn every despair into happiness! Sometimes I will cry and need a cuddle and for someone to tell me everything is going to be okay or someone to just listen to me let me shout and scream! But I’m lucky enough to have people that will do that for me. That have my back no matter how much of a cow I’m being, who will haul me off the mud, dirt etc and bring me back to solid ground.
So I may have bad days like everyone does but I promise no matter how bad my diabetes will never break my optimism!
On another note I found this poem and i like it so thought I would share! The writers site is; http://shesinprison.com
So enjoy! Sorry about the short post but I hope it gives you all an insight 🙂 thanks for reading!