On Friday (11/04/2014) I posted my day 2 of my #100diabetesdays; it was a photo of me and my boyfriend. So I thought I’d write an a little bit on relationships, love etc and then a bit more on how James (my boyfriend) has helped me with parts of my diabetes since we began dating (18th May 2012). So I hope you enjoy it.
Now where to start?
Diabetes is a big big big part of my life…it can take up a lot of time during my day whether its not wanting to do much after having a hypo resulting in my wanting to just sleep, or just the time it takes to make sure I’ve carb counted etc ready to eat. Diabetes comes up in most of my day to day activities. So of course when it comes to relationships it is important that the person your with knows you have type one diabetes and has a basic understanding of it. To be honest they become both a boyfriend and sometimes a carer (in the nicest sense possible).
But it’s not the easiest of things telling someone you have type one diabetes no matter who they are. You worry they will take a judgemental view due to lack of knowledge or that it will put them off (well these were my concerns anyway). Also sometimes it can be hard to gage when to bring it up? Do you let them know straight away or do you have a first date then see what happens, although if your going out for dinner its going to pop up either in form of a blood sugar test, injection or pump hahaha. But my view is the best way is to be honest. Me and James met online so we’re chatting before we met and I think I brought it up in a conversation via facebook. If James was to have taken a judgemental view or made a comment which upset me it would have just shown me straight away that he wouldn’t of been supportive and it wouldn’t have worked. Most people out there I’m sure won’t give a damn about having a partner with diabetes but some might and if they do then they aren’t worth the time.
So I’ve heard of partners of people with diabetes being referred to as type 3 or “type awesome” by people with diabetes. It is said to be a non-diabetic loved one. I’m not sure where this has come from, its just something that has caught my eye on a few blogs I have seen over the years. (However side note there is also medical research about suggesting there is a type 3 referring to Alzheimer’s – I haven’t looked into this enough to give you my point of view on it so I’m not going to and this blog isn’t about that)
Getting back on track…I’m worried this blog is going to result in James head growing bigger hahaha.
People without diabetes may not understand the importance of finding a boyfriend, girlfriend, partner etc who will support you with your diabetes and have an understanding of what it is. So why is it important? I suppose James could probably get away with not caring about the diabetes side of me but what if I was to ever take a turn for the worse (either with a low sugar or a high sugar) and he didn’t know what to do? It could result in a delay in me getting the care I need which in turn could result into a coma or death (maybe I am being a little melodramatic) but to me that could happen.
I would never pressure anyone I was dating into learning more about diabetes and the risk associated with it and treatment of it, neither would I pressurise any of my family or friends either. However sometimes when they do it gives you that extra bit of reassurance and makes you feel loved.
So the above photo isn’t the cutest, lovey dovey photo of me and James but it sums up us. James is one of the very few people in my life (whether its family or friends) who when I’m feeling like complete utter rubbish, and could do with just climbing into bed and not ever coming back out, he can make me laugh and completely change my mood. Oh don’t get me wrong sometimes I could punch his lights out for trying to make a joke or a certain situation but then I sit there reflecting on it and think to myself…but all he was doing was trying to stop me from crying. To be honest that is something I do a lot. I cry when I’m overly happy, I cry when I’m angry, I cry when I’m sad, I cry when I’m frustrated, I cry when I’m ill, the list goes on….I’m just a bit overly emotional at times. Always have been and probably always will.
When I met James I don’t think he really knew much about diabetes…only that his Uncle had a form of it and took injections. However now I think he could probably explain to you in his own way the difference between a hypo and a hyper and what they were, what my symptoms of each are, what is a good blood sugar, how to treat a hypo and how to treat a hyper, how to check my sugar levels and probably more. When you start to think about it that’s a lot of things for someone to learn who doesn’t have to live with the condition themselves.
It’s not just the fact he has taken the time to learn things about diabetes it is also the fact he knows how it affects ME. He knows when I become high I become the she devil and he has to put up with that and try and find a nice way to get me to check my sugar. Okay maybe he doesn’t always say it nicely sometimes he’ll be brutally honest with a comment like “Have you checked your sugars recently cause you’ve been biting my head off for the last hour!”. Sometimes I’ll be like oh okay and do it and other times its a battle but I’ll give him his due 99% of the time he is right and he never once gets angry at me for doing it. Sometimes I can come across like I’m just being a horrible cow….most people wouldn’t realise it was my sugars…even certain members of my family don’t, so for him to normally always know means so much and he doesn’t hold it against me.
As well as all of this he always asks if I want him to come to appointments, he bares in mind that chocolate isn’t the best of things for me (not just from a diabetes point but cause its unhealthy) so will buy me fruit and will try not to eat naughty things around me when I’m trying to be good. I could sit here for ages and list the things he does to help out with my diabetes but the biggest thing is he is there for me 100% and will support me no matter what! I mean he even defends me when people say something about me and my diabetes which isn’t correct.
So do I think I could get any luckier?
My honest answer; No! He is the perfect “type 3” or “type awesome”…well for me anyway and I own him lots of thanks but words don’t really sum it up well enough so I hope he can take this blog as a big thank you…or an ode to James hahaha.
Thank you so much for reading 🙂